


Reflections

by KitwithaK



Category: Dancing with the Stars (US) RPF, Figure Skating RPF, Olympics RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-05-17
Packaged: 2018-01-18 13:24:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1430101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitwithaK/pseuds/KitwithaK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Little drabbles about our favorite ice dancing duo: Meryl Davis and Charlie White</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Agreement

**Author's Note:**

> This is a total work of fiction and in no way reflects the lives of those I write about. I have complete respect for their personal lives and in no way am trying to impose on them a different reality. I am simply having fun with my imagination.
> 
> In honor of DWTS tonight, I thought I would do a little reflection on last week!

They had agreed on it. He had only done what they had both agreed to do.

That does not mean it hurt any less.

They knew from the start of the week that both of their dances would revolve around their partnership. For her, the grand scheme of their journey. For him, the past few years where they have truly become one.

But, they wouldn’t make it about each other.

No, this was a time to say thank you. It wasn’t about themselves or one other but those around them.

She went general. She thanked everyone who helped them reach their goal.

He went specific. He thanked his parents and his girlfriend.

He didn’t do anything wrong.

He had only done what they had both agreed to do.

That does not mean not hearing her name hurt her any less.


	2. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meryl is pulled in different directions as her head swims with questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again this does not reflect the actual emotions of the beautiful and incredible people I write about. I am a mere peasant dreaming of these kings and queens. 
> 
> So, DWTS was fantastic tonight! Meryl slayed once again, Charlie was critiqued by the judges once again, and my feelings about Maks got even more confused once again. 
> 
> Thoughts, comments, or even greetings are always a pleasure!

She feels as if she is a part of twelve different love triangles at once. 

Each of them is pulling her in a different direction, demanding a different thing. 

She’s supposed to smile graciously when he mentions the girlfriend and then fall in love with him again on the ice, act touchy with her dance partner and then sensual with his brother, separate herself from someone she’s been joined with for seventeen years but support him throughout it all. She’s supposed to be his rival one night and then his loving partner the next. 

Acting classes can only help so much before it becomes overwhelming and she mixes everything up. 

She can’t figure out how to act around him now. Are they supposed to be together all the time like during figure skating season? Are they marketed as a pair? Does his newly public relationship change all of this?

The new dancing partner doesn't help. Is she totally independent now? Should she attach herself to this new partner? Should she pull the mysterious romance card she was never allowed to before because of the girlfriend?

She can’t decide if she’s supposed to hug him or not. Is he her rival or her best friend tonight?

The brother only adds another layer. Is she supposed to be romantic with him now too? Should she wistfully pin after her old partner? 

Which old partner is she supposed to be in love with again? She’s confused.

Throughout all the acting she can hardly decipher her own feelings.

She asks herself again and again if anything she feels is genuine or just a clever ruse of smoke and mirrors.

Is it the comfort of a long partnership or the sudden rush of passion that she craves? 

Is it all acting for the cameras or the judges or does he honestly care for her? 

Does she not mind the touching because it’s for the audience or because she wants him to touch her?

Does he care for her as a sister, partner, best friend, or something more?

Does she care for him as something more?

And as she is pulled in different directions she just hopes that she is dragged far away from the one question that started it all:

Did those “I love you”s mean anything?


	3. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie has been feeling guilty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again this is a total work of fiction and in no way reflects the lives of those I write about. It's fun to make believe sometimes though isn't it?
> 
> If anyone has a prompt or an idea I would love to hear it! Also reviews are always appreciated and welcome!!

Recently, all he had been feeling was guilt.

 

It started almost immediately after the free dance was finished.

Everything that he had been previously avoiding or pushed back in order to reach this goal came rushing towards him as soon as the heavy medal settled against his chest.

 

The guilt began with the girlfriend.

She had been so understanding, so reasonable with him. She understood his drive, his training schedule, the nature of his partnership. She knew why she was put on the back burner. That doesn’t mean she didn’t want more.

He had kept her to the side for the past month, the past year, hell even the past five years.

The realization of his neglect left him feeling extremely guilty.

 

To make matters worse, the gold medal winning performance brought the questions.

“Are you dating?” “Have you ever dated?” “You aren’t?” “You haven’t?” “Are you sure?”

Everyone was in love with the darling duo that practically melted the ice with their chemistry. They wanted, hoped, wished they were dating.

Now the guilt of abandoning his girlfriend was combined with the guilt of placing his ice dancing partner in front of her.

But, she isn’t just his ice dancing partner right? She is so much more. She’s the girl he spent 17 years with, devoted to a common goal. She’s his best friend, his other half, his-

Thinking about his feelings for her only brought more guilt.

He settled on calling it special. They had a special relationship.

Delving into defining what exactly the relationship is only brought confusion and more guilt.

Besides, he was supposed to be lessening his guilt not adding to it.

 

He devoted himself to making up for keeping his girlfriend hidden. He pushed their relationship to the forefront.

They both did.

They aggressively plastered their relationship publicly for the world to see. It felt good being in the open, not having to hide anything because of his career or hers.

But, the guilt didn’t subside at a single confession.

He overcompensated. He talked of her as much as he could. He shoved it down everyone’s throats.

Every interview, every conversation was an opportunity to mention her name, mention their relationship, mention the fact that it has been five years.

His girlfriend was positively thrilled. All this time being in the dark only to have a sudden spotlight shined directly on her. The temptation is thrilling enough for even the shiest of people.

 

The show only brought more guilt.

Guilty for using their lift without asking her and realizing it had hurt her.

Guilty for wanting to pry the dark Ukrainian’s hands of her tiny waist.

Guilty for getting a higher score than her.

Guilty for being jealous of her getting a higher score.

Guilty for wanting to scrub her neck every time he kissed it

Guilty for making it seem that he explicitly did not thank her.

Guilty for being jealous of her.

Guilty for being jealous of her partner.

 

Guilty for being jealous.


	4. Innocent Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meryl has some innocent fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is fiction blah blah It doesn't reflect their real lives blah blah the usual
> 
> Starry requested some Maksyl and while this isn't really Maksyl because I'm not sure where I stand with them (read the end notes if you want to see my opinion) it is about them so hopefully that's enough!
> 
> As always, comments are the best and I love everyone who comments! (Well, I love everyone who reads but those who comment have a special place in my heart)

It was all innocent fun.  
At least that’s what she told herself.

The little touches, the flirtatious looks, the playful banter. 

He was charming by nature and she was instantly playing along.

Who could blame her with his dark features, his commanding presence, and his constant touching.

It’s not her fault that the foxtrot choreography required them to be so close  
Or that their competitive natures coupled with their close proximity forced it to become a game of who would break first  
Or that his resolve eventually shattered and his lips came crashing towards hers  
Or that she didn’t back down or resist

Of course it was all innocent fun.  
Nothing ever really happened.  
It never got too serious.

They stuck with the touches, the looks, the banter  
Only accented with long hugs and occasional kisses when the tension was too much.

Only innocent fun  
Nothing serious

But, it was nice feeling desirable and wanted.   
It felt good to have his constant presence with her at all times.

And if their actions made the usually effervescent blonde grimace slightly or grip the railing that much tighter

Well that was only a bonus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so about Maksyl... I honestly don't know how I feel about them. When writing I couldn't figure out how to characterize their relationship and as you can see I left if pretty vague. I had to ask myself what I thought was going on.   
> Do you think they are sleeping together? Honestly, not really.  
> Would you be upset if they were? No, I think they have undeniable chemistry and if they acted on it I wouldn't hate it.  
> Do you think they are dating? No, at least not yet.  
> Do you think it's all for show? I think it's part for show. Meryl's smart and knows that if she plays up a romance it get's people's attention. But I also don't see her as being that sneaky to fake a relationship.
> 
> So basically I think they are just really flirty have great chemistry, and if something does happen then I won't hate it. Marlie is my end game but if Maksyl is right now I'm ok with that. Especially since Charlie has his girlfriend (of 5 years!! in case he forgets to tell us every second) and Meryl is potentially single (I'm still confused about that whole had a bf then didn't but now isn't saying thing) I'd be happy for her to be with Maks who seems to make her happy.


	5. Bad Timing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meryl is upset about Charlie's actions but attributes her feelings to bad timing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter!!
> 
> As usual, this story is completely fiction and in no way reflects the real lives of the spectacular people I write about. 
> 
> And remember: Comments and Prompts are love!!
> 
> Also as much as I love Charlie and respect his choices, that was a pretty awful time to start a relationship. I mean there's no good time to start to date your competition but leading up to the Olympics? Really?

She is angry.

 

No, she is beyond angry. She is furious, disappointed, and hurt.

 

How could he do this? How could he possibly think that this is ok?

 

It’s the timing.

She assures herself of this.

 

That’s the reason she’s mad:

The timing.

 

He couldn’t have chosen another time to do this? Perhaps the off season or during a break or any other year but this year.

But no, he _had_ to do it the year leading up to the Olympics: the most important moment of their career.

 

It’s the timing.

 

That’s what she’s decided has caused the lump in her stomach that formed the moment he told her and hasn’t gone away since.

 

It’s not her. No, she genuinely likes her. She’s pretty and sweet and perfect. They’re friends.

 

It’s the timing.

 

Or maybe it’s the competition.

Well, you cannot really separate the two: the timing and the competition.

 

They were so very close to finally reaching the top and of course he had to screw it up.

 

It’s the timing.

 

She promises herself that if it were under different circumstances she would be happy for him. 

They’re perfect for each other and they are both her friends.

 

But the timing and the competition will complicate everything.

 

So she is not happy.

 

It’s the timing.

It’s _just_ the timing.

It’s _only_ the timing.

That’s what she tries to make herself believe.

 

He’s choosing her over me.

That’s what she whispers into the darkness as tears stream down her face.

 

It’s all bad timing:

The competition,

Their hope of finally beating them,

Her recent realization that she feels something more than friendship,

His new relationship.

 

It’s just bad timing.


	6. Hand holding and Pep talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meryl's holding someone else's hand and Charlie feels out of place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You like reading fiction, right? Well, good because that is just what this story is!! Also, it has no intention of reflecting the actual lives of the beautiful people it is about. 
> 
> I got a prompt for jealous Charlie and I went a bit more wistful Charlie... I do want to write more jealous Charlie though but I'm waiting for hopefully more Charlie side-eye tomorrow night! Hey it's Latin night so who knows what skimpy outfit Meryl will be wearing!
> 
> Sorry for the slow update but my life has been a bit crazy with school work and prom and the works. Thanks for being patient!
> 
> Comments and Prompts = love

She had always held his hand from the moment they first met until their final performance as partners.

 

It was their thing.

 

Well to be honest, it wasn’t always his favorite part of their partnership.

He used to be so nervous around her that his hands would become clammy to the point of embarrassment.

She used to crack her fingers in their inter-joined hands and it frankly weirded him out.

 

It wasn’t his favorite thing, but it was still their thing.

 

That is until it wasn’t.

 

She always knew how to talk someone down from a ledge.

She was the one who would grab his hand and skate around the rink after a frustrating practice.

She was the one to calm him down once he started flinging around expletives.

She was the one who kept him from drowning himself in the shower after falling three times in competition.

 

But, he wasn’t the one she was comforting now.

 

That’s just her personality.

There’s nothing more there.

They’re just partners.

They’re just friends.

They’re just partners.

They’re just friends.

 

But aren't you two _just_ partners and _just_ friends?

 

No, he decides. It’s different, it’s special.

 

He's not quite sure why it's different than what she and her new partner have. 

But, he knows it is.

It has to be. 

 

He knows things are changing.

He doesn't like it. 

 

She was always there to hold his hand.

And now she is holding someone else’s.

 

He feels like the odd man out,

the one left behind.

 

If they are giving each other pep talks,

Who is going to pep talk him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be completely honest, this isn't my favorite chapter. But, I started it and had to finish. Hopefully there is a sliver of it that was entertaining!


	7. Costumes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie adjusts to Meryl's new costumes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If only this were not fiction but alas! It is!
> 
> Remember to leave a comment or a prompt! They mean the world to me.

They had never been an issue before.

 

They were necessary, a part of the job.

 

They had never fazed him before.

 

Sure, he was used to short skirts and questionable neck lines.

Sure, the leotards were often too tight and the colors too vibrant.

 

But, they were never like this.

 

There used to always be a filter.

 

That sheer nude fabric held everything together.

 

Despite how deep the neckline or short the skirt,

it was always there.

 

Not any more.

 

Now there was nothing.

 

Nothing except sparkly bras, and see-through fabric, and lingerie-like tops, and scraps of leather,

 

and skin.

 

That was new.

 

The thin mesh would usually hide it from his touch.

It would be encased by the fabric,

The fabric that held it all together.

 

Now, he was only met with skin,

soft, beautiful skin that made him want to hold her close and never let her go.

 

He would dwell on the porcelain that lay exposed through the open back of her dress.

He visibly shuddered when they embraced,

skin to skin.

 

He misses the sheer nude fabric.

 

It held her costumes together.

It held him together.   


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two things.
> 
> One: Can we take a moment and reflect on how in the last chapter I mentioned that Charlie needed a pep talk and then in Monday's episode MERYL GAVE HIM A PEP TALK! Am I psychic or am I psychic?
> 
> Two: I just put up a cute little Meryl and Maks video (not really Maksyl so don't you worry Merlie shippers!) up on my Tumblr (of the same name) if you wanted to check it out! It was a lot of fun to make and I personally think it is really cute but I may be biased considering it's mine... hahaha


	8. Smile, Nod, and Punch Something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this is non-ficton then I am the Lord Sharna Burgess herself!!... if only I was and if only this was not fiction *sigh*
> 
> Remember comments and reviews are like puppy kisses from DJ White <3

She wants to punch something.

She’s not sure who or what it is she wants to punch but she knows it has to happen soon.

 

She had always been taught to smile through it all.

It may be called the Kiss and Cry but she was always told to smile and nod.

 

So, she did.

 

She smiled as they picked apart each piece of her dance.

She nodded as they promised it was only for her benefit.

She smiled as he told her that he thought her feet were beautiful.

She nodded as her partner said he did not care what the judges say.

 

Smile,

Nod,

Smile,

Nod.

 

She wants to punch something.

 

She wants to punch the judge with her sharp critiques, apparent favoritism, and ridiculous 8 paddle.

She wants to punch her partner with his loud mouth and defensive nature.

She wants to punch her best friend with his kind words and unwavering support even when she does not deserve it.

 

She wants to punch herself for not working hard enough, not being the best, and not pointing her damn toes.

 

She is frustrated, exhausted, and angry.

 

She does not want to smile and nod any more.

She wants to punch something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I take up palm reading? Because I swear I am psychic!!!!  
> Unfortunately, this time was the bad type of psychic...  
> So, all day yesterday I had a terrible feeling about Monday night. When I posted about it on tumblr a bunch of people started freaking out so I just said that it was probably only the weather/ personal stuff and that it was probably nothing. And the beginning was fine!! Meryl and Charlie were both safe and life was good!!!  
> But alas, my psychic tendencies prevailed and everything went terribly wrong...  
> I still cannot think about it without a bad taste in my mouth...  
> Well hopefully next week is filled with rainbows and sunshine and Merlie and Maksyl!!  
> (Side note: is it Merlie or Marlie? ... I am never quite sure)


	9. Three Little Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meryl is not used to Charlie expressing his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It this is not fiction then Charlie is still on DWTS but OH WAIT HE ISN'T
> 
> I'm still bitter if you can't tell.
> 
> on a better note: HAPPY THREE MONTH ANNIVERSARY TWIZZLERS!!!
> 
> And what could be a better way to celebrate than to leave a comment or a review!!!

She is not used to them,

the three little words.

 

They do not usually voice their feelings.

 

That is one of the perks of a seventeen year partnership:

words go unspoken

but feelings are still understood.

 

She does not tell him everything will be alright after a hard day of practice.

He does not say they will get it eventually after failing to master a lift.

She does not let him know how proud of him she is when he nails the twizzles without a hitch.

He does not express how beautiful she looks in every part of the lyrical section.

 

They just know.

 

No words of admiration, gratitude, or love were ever spoken.

They went unsaid.

 

She never got used to it when he started to express them.

 

The first time he did, it was special.

It was the culmination of their journey,

everything they had been building up to for the past seventeen years.

 

After that, he spoke of it frequently.

It was different but comforting.

 

Those meaningful glances,

those significant touches,

all put into three little words

 

He was told to stop saying them

for the competitions sake

and begrudgingly he did.

 

But, the second the competition ended for him

he started up again with the three little words.

 

She has not gotten used to them,

the three little words

and she does not think she ever will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't even talk to me about Charlie's elimination because I am still not over it.  
> ... the only good thing out of that episode was the "Team Meryl- Love you"


End file.
